Posts Tagged ‘coaching’

Creating the Best Support Team (Newsletter Vol 2 Issue 5)

April 27, 2010

By Lori Howard

Live A Better Life Newsletter
(Tools and Tips for Intentional Living)

Volume 2 Issue 5, April 27, 2010
Creating the Best Support Team

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In This Issue:

Creating the Best Support Team
Recommended Resources
Contact Me
About this Newsletter

Creating the Best Support Team

At some point in your pursuit of your goals, you will very likely encounter some sort of obstacle. If you don’t, I’d say you’ve you’re aiming too low.  Some obstacles seem overwhelming, insurmountable.  You run out of time or money or support.  You feel like you’ve hit the end of the runway, but the plane isn’t going to take off, instead, you fear you’re might crash and burn.

So what do you do? 

I want to talk this month about how to create support for yourself to keep you going when things get tough.  How to assess the value of your support system and then how to use it effectively. 

So right now, take a quick inventory of the people you are closest to, the one’s you trust.  List their names.  Let’s group them into simple types. 

–         Which ones are the ones who are great at cheering you up when you’re feeling down?  The ones most concerned with how you feel, and who want you to feel good.  Let’s call them our Cheerleaders.  Put a “C” next to their names.

–         Which ones are the ones who are great at analyzing things and finding problems in our logic or holes in our reasoning?  These are the problem-solvers.  The ones you talk over your ideas with when you are ready to have them challenged.  Let’s call them our Testers.  Put a “T” next to their names. 

–         Which are the really good listeners?  The ones who can listen to what you say without interruption, and respond with things like “So what you’re saying is …” or “I hear you…”  or “That sounds difficult/exciting…”.  Let’s call them our Listeners, and put an “L” next to them. 

–         Which ones are the ones who will call you out when you’re full of crap?  The ones who will challenge you that you can be more, do better?  Let’s call them our Butt-Kickers, and put a “B” next to their names.

It is important to have some of each of the Cheerleaders, Listeners, Testers, and Butt-Kickers in your support system.  It is equally important to know which type of support you need when you call on your support system for help.  Do you need someone to pick you up, remind you of how great you are, that you can do this?  Call one of your Cheerleaders.  Do you need someone to listen to you, and reflect back to you what you’re thinking and feeling?  To give you time to vent or clear your mind of thoughts and feelings.  Give a Listener a call.  Perhaps you need help fixing a problem to overcome an obstacle, actually looking at the solution you’ve come up with, and want to see if someone other than you thinks it will work, then call your Tester.   Or do you really need someone to call you forth, challenge you to step it up and bring your real A-game?  Boldly seek out your Butt-Kicker to come along and kick your butt. 

It’s important that you know who can do what in your support system.  Call on the wrong one at the wrong time and you could end up feeling crippled, instead of lifted up and helped along your way.   

Now, there’s one final category I’m struggling with mentioning, but I think they do exist and are important to discuss.  These are the Nay-Sayers.  The ones who no matter what you say or do, are always focused on the negative.  To them the sky is always falling and we are all doomed to destruction.  There is a difference between our Testers and these Nay-Sayers. Testers know how to dig in and find problems in our thinking.  The Nay-Sayers take it to a whole other level – and can be destructive to our hopes and dreams and ideas.  We may love them dearly, but need to limit our contact with them, especially when we’re in need.  Put an “N” next to their names so you remember who they are.  When you really need support, don’t go these individuals. 

So what do you do when you encounter those uber-challenging obstacles?  Take a moment to decide what kind of support you need, and reach out your support system:  Ask for help.  What if some people in your support system can serve as different types?  Tell them what kind of support you need. 

If your current support system doesn’t contain Cs, Ls, Ts, and Bs, then start looking for people to add to the mix.  Not sure how to do that?  I invite you to schedule an appointment with me and we can talk about how you can create a stronger support system for yourself and your dreams.

Unearth your worth™ today!

Warm regards,

Lori Howard

p.s. Post your thoughts below!

Recommended Resources

The topic in this section is resumes.  You never know when you’ll need yours.  Would you like to make your resume powerful and compelling? Check out this new product:  Write a Resume that Works!  For newsletter subscribers – there’s a special 30% discount.  Click here for details!

Would you like to just beef up the language in your resume to give your accomplishments greater impact?  Pick up this f*r*e*e list of Action Verbs.

Contact Me

I welcome your feedback, comments and questions. Also, if you’re interested in contributing to this Newsletter, email me your submissions.

Tell me what you think about this newsletter by posting a comment below.


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About this Newsletter
Copyright 2010 Lori Howard. All rights reserved.


Take Time to Reflect

December 14, 2009

We are nearing 2010, can you believe it? Amid the holiday chaos we all experience, it’s good to steal some spare moments and reflect on how the year has gone.

  • What were your goals for 2009? Think back on what you hoped for, dreamed for, and set out to achieve this year.
  • What did you accomplish in 2009? Consider what you actually got done. How do you feel about those things?
  • What did you overcome in 2009? Life always hands us challenges, obstacles, opportunities. What were yours this past year?
  • What were your pleasant surprises in 2009? Life also brings us gifts, unexpected treasures. Did you take note of them? You might even think of these as blessings.
  • Now the tough question – what did you fail to achieve in 2009? What are some goals you didn’t hit? We all have them. No beating yourself up here, just identify them.
  • The final question, and my favorite. What did you learn in 2009? What lessons can you use as you move forward into 2010?

I imagine your year had some ups and downs, some accomplishments, some heartaches, and some real blessings. Mine does. Take time to reflect on where you’ve come this year, and how you got here. What was the journey of 2009 for you? As you do this, you will be better able to identify your dreams and set your goals for 2010.

If you’re up for it, share some of your learnings with me by posting here, or by emailing me at

Just Don’t Quit (Newsletter Vol 2 Issue 2)

October 26, 2009

Live A Better Life Newsletter
(Tools and Tips for Intentional Living)

Volume 2 Issue 2, October 26, 2009
Just Don’t Quit
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In This Issue:

Enough Already!
Just Don’t Quit
Recommended Resources
Contact Me
About this Newsletter

Enough Already!

We all have times when we feel overwhelmed or exhausted from our efforts, and think the answer is to quit. I must confess, fall has been particularly challenging for me. I had planned to be busy with projects, but not with the multitude of unexpected challenges added to my life (e.g., hit and run car accident, confrontation with a neighbor, leaky windows, and broken bed, to name just a few).

I wrote this article before things got particularly difficult. (Interesting, eh?) I find as I review it now, that I feel less overwhelmed, and I am inspired to get back to work. I hope you find it helpful as well.


When Life Gets Hard

July 19, 2008

I have made this commitment to writing here – in my blog – twice a week.  In the first post of the week – I’ll write about my progress with food and my weight.  In my second post – I’ll write a coaching piece – something to inspire action.  

Well – this has been a challenging week for me.  (more…)