Food – A Worthy Adversary?

I have struggled with ‘weight issues’ my whole life – not unlike many women I know.

Struggled with self-esteem, trying to understand how my own looks related to who I am, what others think of me. All that. Wrapped up in the “Ugh – I’m Gaining Weight Again” mantra. I don’t typically talk about it. In part because I hate the stereotype – “Does this make me look fat?” – in part because I’ve struggled with this my whole life. And mostly lost… And who wants to talk about THAT?

Food has become my adversary. I know I’m good at setting and accomplishing goals – even difficult ones. I don’t give up. I persevere. But with weight – oh… I fear I will never get control of eating. I will never weight what I think I should… what I really want to… And in that fear, I have given up control. Yet I have not given up the fight. Not yet.

So – I’m going to post my battle here. 20 days ago – my goal was to gain control over food, over my weight. To get this big heavy familiar monkey off my back at long last. To win this very LONG STANDING BATTLE. But over the past few days – through some reading I’ve been doing – I’ve changed my goal.

You see – my life goal – desire – vision – whatever term you like – is to live a life of passion and purpose. Where I am excited to get up every day. Inspired by the people, things, activities, goals, and work in my life. Where it feels worth the effort – really worth it – to live out each day. I am careful to craft my life around the things I believe I was designed for, created for…built to do. EXCEPT when it comes to food.

So when I read the suggestion that I go thru my kitchen and remove any food that does not INSPIRE me…I was stunned. Food is my adversary – how could it inspire me? My mortal enemy – almost literally…then – wait – that would be so IN LINE with the REST of my life! How could I not have thought of this before! I don’t want to BEAT FOOD as my adversary – I don’t want to gain control over food- I want to be INSPIRED BY FOOD! I want to feel the same passion and enjoyment for food that I embrace in other areas of my life! HOW SWEET WOULD THAT BE! In so many ways….

I am also skeptical. Can it be? It is counter to every diet/weight loss/food plan I’ve tried or embraced…counter to each restrictive food plan I’ve been on…and believe me, I’ve been on MANY – in the name of health and weight control…it feels – almost decadent…Can I enjoy food? Really???

Yet – that is my goal…that is what I want…And so – I begin – with a new goal. To be INSPIRED by food in my life. To ENJOY food in my life. Deeply. Passionately. It feels right … it really does. So here I go – stay tuned…

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2 Responses to “Food – A Worthy Adversary?”

  1. DR Says:

    I like that – “food that inspires me”

    I never thought of it that way, but when I stopped being the guy that inhaled his food and started being the guy that thought about what he was eating, and sat down and took the time to appreciate what he was eating, the last few pounds decided to give up the fight.

    I could never go back to being a mindless eater.

  2. Alex Says:

    Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

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