What is “enough”?

This quote found its way to my inbox the other day: “If my aim is to prove I am ‘enough,’ the project goes on to infinity — because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.” – Nathaniel Branson 

It was followed by the question:  What would your life look like if you KNEW you were enough – exactly the way you are?

And so – I’ve been thinking – am I enough?  What do I believe, about me?  I tend to be quite driven – to perform, to achieve.  And that drive has come from a place of – fear – sometimes, fear that I have some thing, some weakness, to compensate for, to make up for, or to overcome.  And that drive has also served me well.  Or has it?

At the suggestion of my dear friend, Janel,  I decided to try an experiment – spend a whole day consciously thinking and acting as if I am  enough – exactly the way I am.   And explore, what would it be like, if I did that?  What, if anything, would change?

First the fear kicked in.  I expected the impact to be, well, colossal.  And that scared the you-know-what out of me.  Then, I thought, this is an experiment. An adventure.  It’ll be fun.  And I don’t have to keep it up after a day, if I don’t like it. 

Then, as my day of being enough unfolded, I realized, not much changed.  But the pressure was relieved.  If I was enough, what I was doing was enough.  Good enough, ample enough, sufficient.  Not too much.  Not too little.  Of whatever.  I could nap if I wanted.  I could tackle problems if I wanted.  I was enough.  It was – freeing – of this energy drain I didn’t know I had.  And I got stuff done.  I wasn’t lazy.  I wasn’t driven.  I was enough.  Crazy.  So crazy, I wanted to do it again, one more day.  Just to see.  Is this what it would be like?

And again, it was easier than I thought.  I got things done I had been putting off, because, for this day, I was enough.  Amazing. 

So I tried it a third day – and the ‘gremlins’ kicked in.  The fears, the voices, that say ‘you are NOT enough.  you are BROKEN.  FLAWED. ‘  Interesting.  A HA.  I knew it couldn’t be that easy.  Yet, as I type this, I find myself wondering.  Really?  I was enough for almost 3 days.  And the world didn’t end.  And I didn’t crash and burn.  And nothing bad happened.  Actually, I felt great.  I felt – relaxed.  I accomplished things.  Really.  I am too enough.  And I liked it.   A lot.

So, I challenge you, to consider this adventure.  Try it for yourself.  And let me know how it goes.  I’d love to know how it goes for you.  I’d love to know what you think it means to be ‘enough’ – and what it’s like to spend a day acting as if you believe you are.

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